Christmas Eve Memories

Around the age of seven I developed insomnia. This insomnia became especially unbearable on Christmas Eve. Since my parents already saw 5:30 am as a Christmas morning wake up time as pushing it (there is video proof of us waking up at 1:30 am in 1983), I needed to find things to do to keep myself occupied. Luckily I learned to read very early on and come 1988 or 1989 I had access to the Disney Channel.

Some of you may remember a time when The Disney Channel actually used to show a balanced mix of TV programming. In the morning there was kid shows like Dumbo's Circus and Mouse Factory, then in the afternoon there was Kid's Incorporated and The Mickey Mouse Club. In the early evening there was family programming like Avonlea and various Disney Channel movies. After that there was Disney Night Time (and later on Vault Disney, but that's another entry entirely). Disney Night Time was chock full of concerts, Conversations with Carol Burnett and Conversations with Bob Hope, and old movies. On Christmas Eve they would play Christmas programming all night long. I remember year after year being wide away and watching

It's a Wonderful Life

The Bishop's Wife

The Judy Garland Christmas Show

and

Best of Bing Crosby Family Christmas Specials

Now thanks to YouTube and my DVD collection I can see these videos again!

Nowadays I spend part of Christmas Eve day watching

Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas

Jim Henson's Christmas Toy

Muppet Family Christmas

and

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

It's funny how when I was little I would watch the adult programming and now as an adult I spend Christmas Eve watching the kid's programming!

The Toys That Got Away

Yesterday, in the interest of killing time, I asked my students what they had asked Santa for. Their lists brought back fond childhood memories since most of the toys of my childhood have been recycled and re purposed. Later on I got to thinking about the Christmas toys I had loved and that I dreamed of getting.

My brother and I were lucky to have been very, very spoiled from the ages of birth to eleven  (me)/ten (my Bro). Because we were very fortunate I only remember two toys that I desperately wanted but did not get. They are the toys that got away.

Toy That Got #1: Strawberry Shortcake Berry Happy Home

Unlike Toy That Got Away #2, I would still love to own this toy. In 1984 this was all I wanted for Christmas.... I strategized and figured I would ask for Rainbow Brite for my February birthday. I was coming of the high of the previous Christmas when my Grandmother got me a Cabbage Patch Kid (her name is Gloria Diane and she currently lives on my couch), and I figured that between Santa, my parents, or my grandparents someone would get me this house! Instead I got Rainbow Brite. She and I had good years together, but inside I always held a little piece of my heart for the Berry Happy Home.
Five years ago, while on a nostalgia kick I discovered wishbookweb.com. While perusing their scans of the 1984 Montgomery Ward catalog I found out why I didn't receive the Berry Happy Home.

Can you see the price quoted in the ad? They wanted $150.00 bucks for the Berry Happy Home .... in 1984!!!!!!!!! We were upper middle class, not millionaires! I have to confess that I occasionally search Ebay in the hopes of finding a fully furnished Berry Happy Home that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. So far it hasn't happened.

Fun Side note: See the Fisher Price dollhouse on the first page? I got that dollhouse from Santa in 1983. I loved that dollhouse ... until the day my brother colored all over it in what he still claims to this day, was retaliation for my coloring on something of his. I don't think I ever did, but he sticks to this story. We talked about it two weeks ago in the same conversation where I had his wife ask him if he was going to let his soon to be born baby girl play with his Legos, or was he going to get her her own.

He is still undetermined about whether or not he is willing to share his Lego collection with his offspring.... but I digress.

Toy That Got Away #2: Baby Alive

Oh, how I wanted Baby Alive. She drank, she ate, she went potty! Baby Alive was the number 1 thing on my Christmas list in 1985, but Christmas morning came and she was nowhere to be found. I wish I could tell you what I got instead, but I don't remember. I do remember the confusion and sadness I felt at the fact that Santa had done me wrong. I remember watching my best friend play with her Baby Alive and simmering. Years later, after financial tides had turned,  when we were discussing past Christmases I finally asked my mother why I didn't get Baby Alive. She told me that she was all set to buy her for me when she found out that the powdered food rotted in Baby Alive's stomach. As an adult I can see that that is indeed a valid reason for not purchasing a toy, no matter how desperately she was wanted. By that point I had also been babysitting for two years and had changed my fair share of diapers. Changing diapers sucks. Why in God's name did I ever want a toy that pooped?

I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday and that Santa brings you everything you asked for!

Christmas Denial

Dear December 24th,

I see that according to my calendar you are happening tomorrow. I don't think this could be true though. Aren't you supposed to be at least another whole week away? If you were still a week away I could feel comfortable about how little "Christmas" I have accomplished. As is stands I am going to have to wake up early to wrap presents, for I don't think my family will appreciate naked and unfestooned gifts. I hate wrapping presents! I've given up hope of getting any cookies baked. This is actually OK because I don't need to eat them, but Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas without cookies. So what do you say December 24th? Can you hold off for a little bit longer?

Best wishes,
me

So That Happened

Went to Dentist.
Dentist drilled large hole in tooth and did things to nerves.
Dentist told me to come back again in order to finish off root canal & rebuild my tooth.
Paid  Desk Woman $175.00.
Desk Woman then told me this all of the rest is going to cost $3,000.00.
I am royally, royally fucked.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Tomorrow I have to go to make an emergency visit to the dentist. It's not going to be fun and it isn't going to be cheap. Plus side though; I get to sleep in a little on Monday so I can afford to be a little lazy on this chilly, December Sunday.

Currently listening too:

Alexz Johnson - "Skipping Stone"

I can't wait until this EP comes out in January. Until then if you like what you hear you can download "Skipping Stone" for free at www.Alexzjohnson.com.

Currently Watching:

Doctor Who

I'm on episode 4 and aliens have landed in present day London.

 I am seriously doubting the Doctor's ability to tell time accurately.

Currently Reading:

The Great Santa Search by Santa Claus as told to Jeff Guinn

Tis the season to read the Christmas Chronicles. These books never fail to fill me with the Christmas spirit! Reading them also helps me to kick ass whenever my family plays Tis the Season: The Christmas Trivia Game.

Currently Working on:

Finishing up Holiday Presents!

1. A scarf for my co-teacher made out of  Yarn Bee Highland Thistle

 in the Highland Fling Colorway. Side note, I really wish we had a Hobby Lobby here in New Jersey and that Hobby Lobby still sold the Highland Thistle yarn.

 It was one of my favorites!

2. Framing and matting my aunt's present. It isn't as easy to find a collage frame with 5x7 photo openings as I thought it would be. There should be more!

3. Wrapping, wrapping, wrapping.

When lazy time is over it is back to the housework grind.

 I hope everyone else is enjoying their Sundays.

Taking Stock

Dear Universe,

Contrary to popular belief I do not live under a rock. The fact that 2011 is rapidly drawing to a close and that 2012 is peeking out from around the corner has not escaped my attention. I considered, for a wee bit, trying to live in denial because there were still a few old resolutions that I had not yet fulfilled, but that approach wasn’t successful when I turned 30, so I doubt that it would work now. Instead of dwelling on what I have not accomplished, I decided this morning to be positive (for once) and think about what I did achieve this year.

In 2011 I not only got my Master’s Degree while working two jobs and dealing with some serious family issues, but I managed to do so with a 4.0 grade point average. At the time I kept thinking that this was no big deal, but you know what?  I’ve decided that this is indeed something to be proud of. It was hard work and I really put my nose to the grindstone … even though at the time I was never sure whether or not it would all be worth it in the end.

Turns out it was. Not only did I get the degree, but I actually managed to find a job in that field within four months of graduating. That’s not easy to do in this economy. Sure I have student loan debt that could rival the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro and I picked a field that really doesn’t pay well, but I’ve discovered I’m really good at what I do. This is a nice change after my pride was squashed by my former job. It takes baby steps and I’m considering 2012 my rebuilding year. If sports teams can do it why can’t I?

The next block I have to tackle is the big one. It is the block that is holding me back from achieving every other thing I want out of life. I am almost (gulp) 32 and I can’t drive. Don’t get me wrong I actually possess a driver’s license and have since I was seventeen, but a trained monkey can get a license in New Jersey. You take your test on a course … there’s no real road time involved. I don’t live in a big city so there aren’t super mass transit options. I need to depend on other people to get anywhere and that really isn’t cool.

Problem is I have a driving phobia that is so severe it leads to panic attacks. I’ve always been terrified of driving. I remember having nightmares that started when I was 6 or 7, in which my mother would leave my brother and I alone in the running car (something that never happened) and something would happen where I would need to drive the car in order to get us out of the way of danger. The dreams never ended with us being safe, instead they mostly ended up in fiery crashes. Fun, eh?

Last summer I took behind the wheel with an actual driving instructor and all that happened was I ended up $400.00 poorer after experiencing three hour blocks of heart palpitations. I don’t know what else to try, but I’ve got to do something. I’ve got to blow past my fear of hurting myself and/or others and take the car by the wheel, so to speak. This has to be the year or I’m never actually going to be able to move forward.

Dear Santa,

I hope your holiday season is going well. How is Mrs. Claus? I've left writing to you till almost too late, but I hope you will excuse my rudeness. Here is my 2011 Grownup Christmas List.

World Peace would be nice. While we're talking on a global level I would also appreciate an end to hunger, cruelty, and homelessness. I know you get asked for this a lot, but I keep hoping one day it might actually happen, so why not today?

On a more personal level I would love a financial miracle to help get my parents on their feet. Social security and disability only go so far and neither of my parents are in great health. Like a lot of people now, we live check to check and there isn't any cushion available. I help out as much as I can, but over the last year they have had to empty my savings account and I don't have anything extra left over to give them. Don't get me wrong, we are far better off than many. We have a roof over our heads, no matter how dilapidated or crumbling down around us the house may be. We have food, clothes, and luxuries like cable, but there is always a huge debt cloud hanging over our heads. Yes they've made some financially irresponsible mistakes over the last nineteen years, but we've also had some rotten luck. Medical bills and prescription drugs are expensive. My father keeps his job for the health insurance because it offers cheaper coverage that Medicare. He's too old to be on his feet eight hours a day.

I would also like to ask for help for a couple people I met at my old job. One woman is very sick and another has just experienced such a loss, that I don't know how she will come back from it. Please send them both help, peace, and hope.

On a totally frivolous level I would also really love

A White iPhone 4S

I've coveted an iPhone since they first came on the market. I've never had a phone that can do anything. It's no fun living in a Smartphone driven world when your phone is the equivalent of two tin cans tied onto string. I'm adult enough to admit that a little pea sized emerald of jealousy glows inside my soul whenever I see my friends with theirs. Since I don't have a family plan that I can join I'm stuck. I just can't rationalize the $80 plus dollars a month it would cost to have the necessary data and calling plans, but man oh man, would it be nice to be able to access apps and to FaceTime with my bro, sis-in-law, and once she's born niece ... especially my niece ... she'll be so far away and I'll miss so much, since they have an iPad 2.

A Pink Nikon 1 with both interchangeable lenses

I've always loved photography and I've never owned a good digital camera before. I have spent years dreaming about a digital SLR camera but I admit that price tag aside, a digital SLR probably shouldn't be my starter camera. Tada! The point and shoot camera with interchangeable lenses ... and it's Pepto Bismol pink!!!

Peanuts Flannel Sheet Set - Full Size

To paraphrase "Happiness is Peanuts!" I have wanted these for three years now. I don't care if I'm adult I just want to cuddle up with my Linus security blanket and Peanuts sheets while watching my Peanuts box sets and reading my Complete Peanuts books!


So that is all Santa. I hope you have a nice holiday and a relaxing New Year. I look forward to seeing you soon.

A Blog In Which I Confess My Committment Issues

Hi blog,
I swear I haven't forgotten about you, and yes,  I know that ignoring you for months on end is no way to cultivate readership. Mea culpa! I just really haven't had anything interesting to say. All I do is go to work and then come home where I do housework, and then go to bed just so I can get up and do it all again. I'm in a grownup rut! I can't remember the last time I went on Facebook, and it has been even longer since I have seen Twitter's little blue birdie. I just spent an hour and a half speed reading all of X-Entertainment's Christmas Countdown entries because I feel guilty that I never got around to reading the Halloween Countdown. Here's a brief rundown of the vaguely interesting things that I have done/come upon lately:

1. In October I found out I am going to be an aunt for the very first time, and last Friday I found out that I'm getting a niece! So yeah, there has been some shopping and some baby sweater knitting going on.

2. Once Upon a Time / Grimm - It only took me an extra month and a half, but as of last Sunday I am totally caught up on this new series ... and I'm head over heels in love (Sheriff, Sheriff, Sheriff)! I have always really enjoyed fractured fairy tales and I'm having a ball trying to figure out what's going to happen next. I'm trying to catch up on Grimm via on Demand, but I have only seen the first two episodes. A little S.A.T.esque fairytale TV comparison for you all: Once Upon a Time is to Lost as Grimm is to C.S.I. . So far Once Upon a Time is holding my attention better than Grimm, but I do love the blodbaten.

3. Nerdist Podcast - I started listening to these over the summer and Chris Hardwicke, Jonah, and Matt now keep me company on each of my breaks. They've widened my nerdy horizons. Without them I never would have started up with:

4. Dr. Who - After years of avoiding it I have finally met the good Doctor. I know (because my friends have been telling me so for forever) that I'm supposed to love David Tennant, but since I started at the (new) beginning I'm enjoying Christopher Eccleston too much to ever imagine him regenerating out of my life.

As far as books go I have been in a serious book drought. Hopefully the drought will end over Christmas break.

Now if you'll excuse me Once Upon a Time has just started .... Oh God no. Bad Sheriff! Stop kissing that bloody witch!!!

Want to win this contest!

Sorry I haven't written lately, but I haven't really done anything that is blog worthy. Basically I go to work and then come home and sleep. I'm legally not allowed to write down any stories about my day, as long as my students are involved, and since every story involves students you will just have to take my word for it that my students are kind of hysterical!

Anyway, Knitpicks.com is running a "Win your Wish List" contest and I am desperate to win it!!!! So here I go following instructions:

http://www.knitpicks.com/cfCart/viewWishlist.cfm?wishlistid=99FA029A-C046-AD8D-BA8E00CE3AAD3AB2&media=WLBL

If you are a knitter and you have never checked out www.knitpicks.com you have seriously been missing out. Their lines are lovely and affordable. They have worked to fill the void that was left in my heart when my favorite LYS closed two years ago. The shipping is fast and affordable and the site offers an online community,  tutorials, and have a podcast.

I have been utilising my library's affiliation with Listen NJ and have been downloading books so I can knit and "read" while I am on my daily break at work. Right now (Literally, right now) I am listening to Going Bovine by Libba Bray. I had been enjoying it, but the addition of a talking Scandinavian warrior garden gnome has pushed my joy to a new limit. The only problem is that I am so into the story that the reader isn't reading fast enough for me! I can't wait to see how it ends!!!

What Sort of Relationship Is This?

Dear Internet,

During the last week, when we were forced to separate because of a downed modem, I had time to review our relationship. In the beginning I missed you like crazy. I wondered what I was missing and who else you were seeing.... not to mention worried about how exactly I was going to pay my bills this month. Use stamps, checks, and snail mail? I think not!

 After awhile I came to grips with my jealousy and I tried to distract myself with other things. Turns out that when you don't go online you really do have time for more things. I knitted a baby sweater and a half and I started a blanket. I read two books. I caught up on sleep. I did laundry. In short I learned that I could get by without you, but I really don't want to have to. Sure I may have been productive, but now it feels like I'm never fully going to catch up. I think I'm officially your slave.

Accepting defeating,
me

Knitting Power

Today I spent my break working on the shawl that feels like it is never going to end and listening to podcasts. Since my new school doesn't have a teacher's room I was in the copy room and people kept coming in and out. As usual I got a few weird looks from people who don't seem to understand knitting, but then something amazing happened. One of my bosses walked into the room and loudly exclaimed "You knit ?!?". I looked up and calmly said yes, expecting the same old conversation. Her next words floored me. She cried out that she was so excited and that I made her day. It seems my boss just started knitting and she has a bunch of questions! I found somebody new to talk knitting with :). Yay for spreading the yarn love!!

That being said, the shawl still never seems to end.

MUST Declutter

Ever since I started my new job I haven't quite been able to catch up on housework. When I get home I'm exhausted and there are so many hours of Internet tomfoolery and New Fall TV season programming to fill my three and a half short hours until it is time to go to bed again (oh yeah I now need to go to bed earlier than my senior citizen parents ... it's great!). Playing catchup was my ooh so exciting plan for this past weekend, but I was cruelly thwarted by a knockout bout of flu which was oh so considerately passed on to me by my new students. I survived kidney stones when I was 16 and back surgery when I was 21 and I am pretty sure I would not survive another go-around with this bug.

So now I have reach a critical level on the House Needs Cleaning scale. Starting tomorrow, as soon as I get home from work I need to start sorting, refusing, scrubbing, and washing. I have to lock myself away this weekend and come hell or high water it is all getting cleaned. I have over 40 hours of Nerdist podcasts ready and raring to go on my iPod. If they don't get me through nothing will!

Chomp!

I get excited whenever I see that Carl Hiaasen is releasing a new book (be it for young adults or adults) and Chomp does not disappoint. As is often the case Hiaasen sets the book in the Florida Everglades, and in this story, Wahoo Cray lives on the animal wrangler farm that his father runs. Their animals, especially their prize gator Alice, often appear on TV shows or in movies, but ever since Wahoo’s father was hit on the head by a frozen iguana (pure Hiaasen!) business has been down and money is tight. When the going gets really tough a successful survivalist TV show (Expedition Survival!) comes a calling. It’s just a shame that the famous host, Derek Badger, is a flaky fake. Can Wahoo keep his father in line, keep track of Derek Badger, and help his new friend Tuna escape from her abusive father? Hiaasen blends humor, slapstick antics, and his own personal brand of satire to take his readers on Wahoo’s crazy ride. I hope you all will check it out when it is released in March 2012!

I'm so tired I ....

1. can't move off of my couch to get the remote to turn off the terrible movie I'm watching.

2. wonder how it is that I didn't fall asleep at 7:00 pm.

3. keep thinking that maybe I can teleport up the stairs to my comfy bed. The comfy bed that has a pillow top memory foam mattress cover, a cozy quilt from Ikea, and lovely feather pillows ... really, really wish I could teleport up to my bed. So much for saying "Beam me up Scottie".

4. can't believe I have to do it all again tomorrow.

Brain Cramp

I've got too many thoughts going on right now to commit to one particular entry topic. Even a list of my scattered thoughts would be too long and chaotic to be enjoyable, so this one will be short. I think my thoughts are being clouded because I am coming out of a garlic butter nirvana coma.

Garlic Butter Nirvana Coma is the medical condition that results after a visit to Mud City Crab House. Well OK, it isn't an official medical condition, but a few of my friends and I have decided it totally exists. Mud City Crab House is one of the best seafood restaurants I have ever been to. If you can get to South Jersey while they're open for the season you would be crazy not to stop by! The staff is friendly and the food is always amazing! Their garlic butter sauce is to die for. It should be added to everyone's last meal menu. Until last night I was .8 pounds away from having lost 20 pounds ... the 5 pounds I probably gained last night was totally worth it.

If your interest is piqued please check out Mud City's web site:
http://www.mudcitycrabhouse.com/
and enjoy!

The Black Hole

The dreaded Black Hole. Every knitter hits it, and unfortunately I have hit it with each of my 3 WIPs (two shawls and a blanket). I was seriously hoping to get one shawl finished in time to submit it to a Fall Harvest festival, but no matter how many hours I spent working on it last month I couldn't hit the halfway point. Sacre bleu!

My knitting frustration combined with starting a new job lack of concentration has led me to a reading binge so I haven't gotten any knitting done at all this past week. My knitting bag keeps staring up at me and I keep promising it and the shawl that I will pick them up as soon as I finish my book ... then I pick another book. My two main hobbies (reading and knitting) unfortunately don't work together unless you are listening to audio books. Luckily my library joined ListenNJ this summer and I am finally getting around to try it out. Tomorrow I plan to use my iPod to listen to Jesse Eisenberg reading Holly Black's Red Glove  while I try to knit my way out of the stinking Black Hole!

Sweet Valley Blah

I read a lot of Sweet Valley books when I was younger; Twins, High, Sagas and The Unicorn Club that is, I read the first five Sweet Valley University books and decided that they weren't for me. I was excited eight years ago when the then titled Sweet Valley Heights was announced, and that excitement carried me up to the point when Sweet Valley Confidential came out last March. Upon the book's release though, I experienced a fizzling out. I didn't really enjoy the sample of the first chapter, but I figured I couldn't quit now and I would read it someday. That day came today, and man I want those two hours of my life back. This book irritated the hell out of me, but in that same vein of needing to slow down to look at a car crash, I kept reading anyway.

The story was underdeveloped, choppy, and in the end unbelievable ... though come to think of it now, that's Sweet Valley... unbelievable. I found myself caring less and less about Jessica, Elizabeth, and Todd's falling out and more about the stories of the background characters who got little more than passing blurbs written about them. Who would have ever thought that Bruce Patman would end up my favorite character and that the best part of the story would have involved hearing the always put together Alice Wakefield call to her husband to have someone "bring out the fucking cake!"???

You Had Me at Cupcake

 My body and brain are ready for it to be Autumn! This means asides from craving apples, cider, crunchy leaves, and crisp weather I am also craving cozy mysteries. Yesterday I wandered over to my local library and perused the New Mystery shelf. There I found Sprinkle with Death and Buttercream Bump Off by Jenn McKinlay ... a mystery series about a cupcake bakery ... with recipes??? Yes please!!!

I got home with my books around 4 o'clock and I had torn through both of them by 10 o'clock. When I finished I turned on my Kindle to see if there were any other books to the series because I didn't want to be left hanging. Turns out the third book in the series, Death By the Dozen, isn't being released until October 4th. I preordered my copy, but however shall I make it through?

 Though the cupcakes sound divine I have to say that the charm of this series extends beyond the wonder of the cupcakes. That being said I am totally trying some of the recipes this weekend. One of them is called Tinkerbell and it is a lemon cupcake with raspberry buttercream frosting and pink sugar topping ... so what if I need to lose the 7 pounds I gained back in Florida last week ... but I digress, back to the stories!

 The main character Mel and her best friends Angie and Tate feel like people I would be friends with. I especially identify with the girls who have each been in love with two of the other characters since they were twelve. This speaks to me. I have been a (mostly secret) torch carrier for the same guy since I was sixteen. Since I've always been a chicken and my love has been unvoiced and unrequited it is nice to see characters who are a. in the same boat and b. in the case of one character the possessor of a happy ending (for now at least). The characters are well written and fun. I just hope they don't fall into the cozy mystery love triangle trap! I really enjoyed Angie's older overprotective brothers (priceless spy mission in Buttercream Bump Off) and Mel, the octogenarian romeo! I would recommend these books to anyone who enjoys Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series or Joanne Fluke's Hannah Swenson series. I liked them so much I wrote a thank you e-mail to the author today which brings my fan letter lifetime total up to five (Kristopher Turner, John Green, Melissa Marr, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, and now Jenn McKinlay in case you were interested).

Seesaws and Wedged Between a Rock and a Hard Place

This week I am both starting my new job and am finishing up at my old job. Straddling both worlds is confusing, and my uneasiness is leading to brain jumble. I need to triple check everything I type because my mind keeps wandering. It's too full and crowded in here.

In the interest of taking better control of my finances, earlier today, I looked up each of my credit card balances so I could try to work up a strict budget. Unfortunately I realized that since I have no clue when I am going to get paid at my new job I don't think I can pay all of my bills without dipping into my (not so rotund) savings account. This fact got me blue.

But then as I went on working I started to appreciate the fact that it is a truly a beautiful day outside. We had the doors open today at the office and I could hear the wind blow and the birds chirp. I could see a sunbeam shining on the carpet. All began to feel right with the world and I realized that somehow everything will be all right.

Then my mother called me at work to ask if she could borrow $500.00 so the power wouldn't be turned off today at 5:00. Oy Bleeping Vey! Happy, fuzzy thoughts gone. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I live over my parents and they don't charge me a set amount for rent and I don't have to pay too much for utilities. I just give what I can each month and pay for groceries. I realize this is essentially a golden situation. Problem is my parents are a step and a half away from bankruptcy and my dad's pay, my mom's disability, and their combined social security does not stretch too far in the current climate when you add in their previous debt. Try though I may, I can't get them to stick to a strict budget. My father promises to take care of the situation, makes a few calls, then never quite follows through all of the way. This is nerve wracking. Asides from owing them life I also owe them for my living situation, but it is hard not feeling bitter every now and then. If they didn't need to always borrow money from me (we're up to a few thousand dollars by now) I could be more financially secure. I dread using my savings account below a certain amount because what if they need the money and I don't have it to give them?

Like I said, Oy Bleeping Vey!

First Day Down

I started my new job today and I was too nervous to sleep last night, so after eight hours in a classroom man, I'm tired! The kids are cute, the school seems nice, and tomorrow we're going on a field trip to a farm. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm going to be a good fit.

Leap!

Spontaneity continued to pay off this week. On a whim I applied for a preschool aide job on CareerBuilder.com late Saturday night, and by Tuesday at 5pm, I had the job. Change terrifies me, but I've decided that it is time to move forward in life. It is time for me to learn how to leap willingly.

Leaping willingly has always been a challenge for me, sometimes literally. Somewhere there exists a very embarrassing video in which my family and our friends spend 15 minutes trying to convince me to jump off of a cliff into the creek below. Eventually I sucked up my courage and took the plunge (and lived to tell), but during those 15 minutes I stood paralyzed on the edge, convinced I couldn't jump out far enough to avoid hitting the rocks below. I need to realize now that I won't hit the "rocks" and that I can try something new without feeling weighed down with dread.

I'm going to go leap into packing for Florida, and them I'm going to go dive back into the ADRC copy of the Momofuku Milk Bar that I got from Netgalley.com. I will be back sometime around the first of September with a review and hopefully not to many pounds gained back thanks to recipe experimenting.

Spontenaity

I am not a spontaneous person, but last night I made a spontaneous decision to go to Florida next week. You see my best friend's birthday is coming up, and he has been going through a warp speed tunnel of rapid upheaval lately. While we were on the phone last night he mentioned that he was going to be all alone on his birthday. :(

Nobody should be alone on their birthday, let alone this friend who has picked me up when I've been down more times than I can count, so I quickly decided to high jack his birthday. I'm flying into Tampa then kidnapping him for two days and taking him to Disney World. We are going to spend his birthday at The Magic Kingdom and we're going to eat birthday dinner with Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, and Tigger.

This is totally not the most fiscally responsible choice I have ever made, but I keep reminding myself how happy this trip is going to make the both of us. The good karma points will hopefully outweigh the credit card finance charges and hopefully my friend won't mind me telling you all about this ... or the fact that I'm sharing this picture!!

Love at First Read

In honor of the tenth anniversary of the release of Megan McCafferty's Sloppy Firsts I proudly present the (pretty much chronological) list of Fictional Men Who Have Stolen My Heart: The Literary Edition

Almanzo Wilder (The Little House series)- Almanzo's way with horses and his ox team appealed to my 6 year old heart. As I got older it was his kindness and ruggedness that won me over even more.

Gilbert Blythe (Anne of Green Gables series)- Oh Gilbert, even at the age of 7 I understood your devotion to Anne and I knew it would pay off in the end! Full disclosure I still think that Anne of the Island is one of the most romantic and heartwrenching books of all time. I've read my way through three separate copies. Because I saw the Sullivan Film's version of Anne of Green Gables right around the same time I first started reading the books Gilbert will always look like this in my mind:

Image thanks to Google image search and astarinabox.xanga.com

Calvin O'Keefe (Wrinkle in Time - Swoon. He's smart, he's caring, he's vulnerable. He likes Meg for exactly who she is and he tells her she has dreamboat eyes. Who could ask for more? Though I think Gregory Smith is absolutely 100% attractive he was no Calvin O' Keefe! In my mind that honor always goes to a young Eric Stoltz.

Marcus Flutie (Sloppy Firsts - Marcus Flutie, winning girl's hearts over for ten years now, so that every single one of them is looking for her Marcus Flutie in real life. I'm not sure he can exist in real life, but if I met a guy who had 2/10ths of Marcus' raw appeal I would try my damndest to make him mine.

Simon Lewis (Mortal Instruments series)-So I have a thing for guys who suffer from unrequited love, so sue me ... especially when they also like music and are sarcastically funny. Funny enough, when I fist started reading this series as soon as I read Simon I pictured him as being Jamie Andrews from Instant Star. Together these characters are my ideal guy, and it seems I wasn't alone in thinking Kristopher Turner as Jamie would make a damn good Simon! If you Google image search "Simon Mortal Instruments" most of the pictures that come back are of Kristopher Turner. See?
Image from Google image Search

Eric Northman (Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Books)- Team Bill whatever! From Book 1 I have been a Viking Vampire Girl! It goes beyond the Viking hotness though, I swear. From his very first appearance I feel that Eric has always genuinely understood Sookie better. The hotness is just an added bonus ;).

Run Don't Walk

Please take my word for it and run, don't walk, to go see Crazy, Stupid Love! It is one of the best movies I have seen in the last two years. It was refreshing to see that a smart and witty romantic comedy could exist in this world.

What if?

Background fact #1 - I am morbidly obese and have been zooming up the weight mountain since I was 5.

Background fact #2 - I joined Weight Watchers Online a month and a half ago and I have lost 13 pounds so far, but I have started to lose my way over the last two weeks because it is all starting to feel unbeatable.

I spent most of Thursday in Doctor appointments for two different ongoing issues. These appointments continue to be inconclusive, and now I require expensive tests that I truly can't afford. God I miss heath insurance! Hopefully these tests will bring answers and not just additonal debt. The first issue is an internal one and honestly, even though it's really important, I'm not that worried about it right now. Unfortunately the other issue involves monster amounts of pain and severely effects my mobility, and in turn my future. This issue has been going on, off and on for six years and it has already cost me one job. While trying to process this new information I was left last night wondering "What if" a lot?

Right now I'm supposed to be on bed rest in order to give my tendons time to heal. Right now I'm also supposed to be trying to find a teaching aide position because this problem is supposed to be solved by now. These two don't jive because right now I have no clue if I'll be able to move around because, in addition to the whole bed rest things, the results of one of those tests may land me in a cast for who knows how long. What if I can never get my tendons back to the state where I can be on my feet all day teaching? What if I finally found what I'm meant to do only to physically not be able to do it? What if I'm now $60,000 dollars in student loan debt and can never find a full time job that pays me a living wage?

These are the thouhts that keep me awake at night. Some additional thoughts include:

What would life be like if I had taken control of my weight and life before it became a huge issue? What kind of person would I be instead? Would I be more confident? Would I be married with children? Would I have a better support system around me?

One of my favorite TV shows is a Canadian show called Being Erica. In the first Season the main character, Erica Strange, is in her early 30s and she is lost and full of regrets. She meets Dr. Tom, a therapist who has the ability to send Erica back to each of her regrets. Each episode she gets a Do-over. This idea fascinates me. I've got a shitload of regrets. Most days it feels like my life is one big regret. Instead of being equipped with the life skills to conquer my past and build a better future I am my own worst enemy. I just find myself wondering "What if"?

Who Knew?

Who knew that a paper shredder could be so zen, and that $54.97 could bring total enlightenment?

I live in a house that is 2 and a half steps away from being on an episode of Hoarders. My entire family are pack rats. In the interest of actually being able to use the entire four rooms that comprise my upstairs apartment I have been working on decluttering. Yesterday I bought a power paper shredder because I realized that my hand crank shredder, while eco friendly, was no match for the mountain chain ( yes, more than one mountain) of paper that needs to be shredded... Seriously its like the size of the Smokey mountain, Alps, and Adirondacks combined. There are documents in this house that predate my birth. After the first shredding I was hooked. Sure the machine is noisy, but the action is also extremely soothing. I actually can't wait to spend all of Friday shredding. I crave the catharsis. The only question now though, is where in Monmouth County can I dispose of all of the shreds?

Thanks to Walmart.com for the image

Where All of My Money Will Be Going

1. I have nurtured a lifelong obsessive love for Canada.
2. I am very passionate about my tea.

Three years ago these two loves met up when I finally got to visit Canada for the first time, and while in Kingston, ON to see a performance of Anne & Gilbert, I discovered the Tea Store.

As soon as we drove by I knew that, as Liz Lemon would say, I needed to go to there. It is tea heaven. My parents and I spent almost two hours chatting with the friendly staff and some of the patrons (one who gave us a new beautiful scenic route to take to Toronto, once he heard we were in no hurry to get there), consuming delicious pastries, and boggling over the 100s of types of tea there were to choose from. It was a perfect afternoon.

A few days ago we were fondly reminiscing about that trip and about how wonderful the time in the Tea Store was. I decided I would google them just for the hell of it and what wonderfully awesome thing do you think I discovered????

This:
http://www.teastore.ca/

They sell their tea online AND they ship to the USA!!! Woohooo I can have Ice Wine tea again!!!!! Having tea shipped to me is nowhere as nice as being there, but I can always sip my ordered tea and pretend I have just visited Roots and Indigo Books.

Side note: It seems that most people I met that trip found it very odd when I told them that I had traveled from New Jersey all the way to Kingston just to see a musical. I don't think it was that odd. I really wanted to see the show and my only option was to see it there. So glad I did too! The show was great!!!

Oh Internet, You Make It So Easy to Be a Hermit!

Clearly I am not a blogger extraordinaire, but maybe one day I will be a quarter good as these ladies are:

http://fourthgradenothing.com

I stumbled across Ally's Fourth Grade Nothing blog earlier this week when in a fit of nostalgia I googled Swatch phones (blog about the teenage wonder that was the Swatch phone will come later). I was hooked from the first entry and I proceeded to spend the next two day's worth of free-time reading every single entry she has written. Such nostalgic fun! She is witty and has a really honest voice. Go check her out!

Fourth Grade Nothing led me to my next great discovery:

http://whatireadbackthen.wordpress.com
otherwise know as Are You There Youth, It's Me Nikki

Nikki's blog, where she re-reads and recaps books from her youth, is my dream blog. I wish I had thought of it first ( I was planning to write a Series Loved, Some Lost post this summer and I'm still going to do it sometime soon), instead, right now, I will bow down at her feet and tell her she's a genius. I tore through the entire blog in two or three days. While reading I kept amazon.com open so I could add books to my "Used Kid's and YA Books I NEED to Track Down List" ... that list is getting pretty long now thanks to the dearth of great material I have (re)discovered over the last few days. Thanks Nikki, you rock :)

My next stop is going to be http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/

Fourth Grade Nothing: Bain de Soleil, for the St.Tropez Tan

See I'm not the only one to have fond memories of Bain de Soliel!

Fourth Grade Nothing: Bain de Soleil, for the St.Tropez Tan

Potassium, My Dear Chiquita

I should be focusing on how I really, really need to find a new full time job (as of like yesterday), but instead I am going to recount a conversation one of my best friends and I had last night about bananas.

While we were on the phone my friend had a leg cramp. I told him he needed more potassium in his diet, so he said he was going to get some bananas. Then I got to thinking aloud about whether or not there are other foods besides bananas that have oodles of potassium in them. He couldn't think of any (I was too lazy to get out of bed and head to the Internet), and since he isn't always a fan of bananas he declared this cornering of the market was so bananas could have their day in the sun. I said sometimes there is nothing as good as a banana, but I needed to further qualify that by stating that it had to be an almost still totally green banana. He instantly disagreed. He spoke up on behalf of the yellow banana that has just started to get brown spots. Turns out bananas are one of those things in life that people feel passionately about. There isn't a gray zone when it comes to how you like your banana; it is truly a black and white, clear cut issue.

So how do you like your bananas?

Dear Thursday,

I think we should agree to stay away from each other for awhile. Though you tried your darnedest to make me cry you didn't succeed ... by the way, really appreciated the super strong electric shock when I unplugged my computer to take it to the theater, and the air conditioner spitting out water and black goo... it was very cute on top of everything else you had already pulled; you're classy Thursday, really you are. I've decided to take the high road and for the foreseeable future I'm going to choose to pretend that you don't exist. Wednesday will simply slide into Friday. We'll try spending time together again when Community and 30 Rock return in the Fall, but remember if you piss me off again I can always depend on the DVR to help me to continue to pretend that you don't exist! I don't need you. You hold no power over me!

Civil regards,
me

Want My Teddy Bear

Today is bound and determined to make me cry. Absolutely nothing has gone right. No rainbows, sunshine, or lollipops in sight. So far I haven't given in, but there are still many hours ahead of me, so I make no promises.

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

It is a documented truth that I don't deal well with stress. Unfortunately my life seems to be jampacked with stressors that I just can't seem to shake. Today, since I was off from work, was declared a mental health day.

I floated in the blowup pool in my yard, but pretended I was in the Barbados.

Thanks to the pool, my float, my book, and my Boys of Summer play list for providing me with four hours of bliss.

A special MVP award today goes out to Coppertone sunscreen and Bain de Soliel Orange Gelee. These are the scents of my childhood summers. My brother and I would get coated in Coppertone while my mother, grandmother, and aunt would be basted with Orange Gelee.

The metal tube still basically looks the same. The scent is exactly the same. As soon as I smell it I am instantly transported back to Takanessee Beach Club. I spent my summers from birth to age 6 there, and if I think about it I can still hear the slap of the screen door to the Snack Bar and my grandmother's voice.

Places to go, Things to see: Part 1 - The North America edition

Six years ago I typed up a list of places I wanted to visit. Some of them were places I've always wanted to go, but never have been; others were old favorites that I would like to visit again (and again, and again). Today I'm going to focus on the North American destinations.

The U.S.A:
Washington D.C.* - I am nine years overdue a trip to the nation's Capital. I am jonesing a trip to the Smithsonian like I assume an addict would crave their next fix. I get shaky when I think of all of those museums and all of that history in one spot.

Williamsburg, Virginia* - It has been twenty years since I have been to Williamsburg. The last time I was there was for an American Girl tea party that introduced Felicity. I want to wander around the village and hit up Busch Gardens.

Annapolis, Maryland* - My parents saw no problem with driving down to Annapolis for lunch. It's such a pretty town and I want to find out if Buddy's Crabs still exists.

Baltimore, Maryland* - Such a cool town! It has an attitude all its own. I want to go to the Aquarium, wander around the waterfront, and pretend I'm in a John Waters' film.

Chincoteague* and Assateague* - I fell in love with Marguerite Henry's Misty series when I was little and I dreamed of going to visit Chincoteague and Assateague in order to see the wild ponies. When my parents bought our RV one of the first trips we took was to Tom's Cove Campground in Chincoteague. I still remember it as being one of the coolest campgrounds ever (only topped by one in The Keys). We went crabbing and had a ball at the wildlife preserve and the beach. Three years ago we went back down to the Islands on a whim to celebrate Mother's Day and My father's Halfway Thru Radiation Day. We stayed at a wonderful motel right on the channel, where I proceeded to shoot some of the best pictures of my life (the photo in my blog header is the view from the motel's dock at sunset), and my mother was stalked by a duck who was crushing on her. We had the most relaxing time and I've wanted to go back again ever since. I could see myself moving to Chincoteague someday.

Atlanta, Georgia - I have never been outside the Atlanta airport. I want to go to the aquarium, to the Varsity, and to The World of Coke. If I can get my brother to come with me I'll even go see a baseball game! The Braves are his favorite team.

Savannah, Georgia - I was first intrigues by the idea of Savannah when I read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Then I was introduced to the world of Paula Deen. I want to eat tons of food at The Lady and Sons then wander around and take pictures of the architecture.

Hilton Head, North Carolina - Beaches and I are muy simpatico. I want to play in the dunes and see the sea grass. Someday I'll use vacation points to stay at the Disney Vacation Club Resort there and this will be given its very own star.

Charleston, South Carolina* - We stopped here once when I was too young to truly appreciate the beauty of this city. I remember going to Fort Sumter, a museum that I loved ... and I remembered the heat and the humidity:(. Next time I visit I'm going in October!

The Keys, Florida* - Visiting the Keys is the closest I've ever come to going somewhere tropical, and alas the last time I was there I was only 10, which kind of puts a damper on doing most of the traditional Keys activities. I've been to The Hogsbreath Saloon and Margaritaville, but I couldn't have a drink at either. I still managed to have a great time though. We went to the Aquarium, took a trolley tour, and I learned all about Hemingway and his cats. I had the best night sleep of my life while camping on Fiesta Key.

Orlando/Lake Buena Vista, Florida* - Three Words: Walt Disney World.

Crystal River, Florida - I want to go to the Manatee Preserve.

Memphis, Tennessee - Oh the music, oh the barbecue!!! When we drove my brother out to Texas we were supposed to stop in Memphis, but we stopped making in good time and we sped right through. No Graceland for my father, and no Beale Street for me.

Nashville, Tennessee - On the drive back from Texas we were supposed to stop in Nashville but ours plans changed.

New Orleans, Louisiana - Come on it's New Orleans - The food, the music, the history, the architecture, its strength of character... who could say no?

Austin, Texas* - My brother and sister in law lived in Austin for five years. It's such an amazingly eclectic city. I miss going there.

St. Paul/Minneapolis, Minnesota* - Funny enough, the Twin Cities made it on my list because after reading The Girl Talk series when I was younger, I had always dreamed of seeing the Sculpture Garden. Imagine my surprise when my brother and sister in law moved to a St. Paul suburb two years ago. Minnesota is great. I can't wait to go to the Minnesota State Fair sometime. I wish I could go this year. I haven't seen my brother or sister in law in over a year and I really, really miss them.

Las Vegas, Nevada - The only reasons I want to ever go to Las Vegas is because I want to see Cirque de Soliel's production Love ... plus I'd really like to see my friend Ange again.

San Fransisco, California* - I spent two evenings in San Fransisco once and it wasn't enough time to even scratch the surface.

San Diego, California - One of my dreams is to learn how to surf and I want to do so at Surf Diva bootcamp at La Jolla Beach.

Anaheim, California - I'm a huge Disney history freak. I need to see Disneyland in person at least once in my life.

Portland, Oregon - It's supposed to be awesome here. It has beauty and Powell's books, and lest I forget, Voodoo Donuts!

Seattle, Washington - sort of the same reasons as Portland.

Hawaii - I want to go all over!!!!!! Oahu, Kuai, The Big Island, Waimea Bay, don't care where I start just get me there!!!

Alaska - I'll go anywhere. I just want to have my camera with me and about a trillion memory cards. Film of Alaska always makes me cry because it is so breathtaking.

Burlington, Vermont - Um hello, Vermont foliage (I'm a sucker for Fall), maple syrup,and Ben and Jerry's!

Boston, Massachusetts - I've never been to Boston :(. I want to walk the Freedom Trail and go to Quincy Market.

Ithaca, New York* - I'm planning an entire entry extolling the virtues of Ithaca, but in short it is truly Gorges ;)... plus it has been FAR too long since I have been back.

Lititz/Hershey, Pennsylvania* - We used to drive to Hershey and Lititz for the day when I was younger. Hershey is the "sweetest place on earth" and Lititz has the Sturgis Pretzel Factory and Wilbur's Chocolates.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania* - I'm long overdue a Philly shopping and museum adventure.

Mexico: History, Culture, and Beauty abound.
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Mexico City, Mexico
Guadalajara, Mexico
Ixtapa, Mexico

Canada: Full disclosure I've often felt sometimes like maybe I was supposed to have been born Canadian.

Victoria, B.C - The gardens!

Vancouver, B.C. - It's supposed to be such a beautiful and chill city.

Kingston, Ontario* - Such a neat city! I compared it to Ithaca on steroids. The downtown area has the Tea Store, an Indigo books, a theatre, and a Roots clothing store, I don't think I need much else.

Ottawa, Ontario - The capital of Canada, and the home to another Tea Store!

Toronto, Ontario* - If ever I move to a big city I'm moving to Toronto. There isn't enough time to describe all of the things I love about T.O.!!!!

Montreal, Quebec - The Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, poutine, McGill University, and Old Town.

Nova Scotia, Halifax - I fell in love with Budge Wilson's version of Nova Scotia and I want to see how the real thing measures up. I also really, really want to hear the fiddlers.

Newfoundland - The sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea.

Cavendish, P.E.I. - I have dreamed of going all over Prince Edwards Island since I was seven because that is when I first fell in love with Anne of Green Gables. The ocean, the red sand, the seafood. I think I could probably die happy there.

Not so Happy Talk

South Pacific is kicking my behind right now. I'll be back sometime after the 24th with a few book reviews, another addition to Summer Travel: Book Edition, and a few other things!

Waiting for the Light[s] to Shine

Working in the theatre = lots of waiting. For the last four days I have been in rehearsal for South Pacific. I've waited while lights were hung, waited while lights were focused, and waited while lights were programmed. Tomorrow I'm going to be waiting while costumes are tried on and paraded. I actually don't mind all of this waiting because it gives me time to read my script which I only got four days ago. I'm currently acting as what I like to call a guerrilla stage manager. Instead of being needed for the entire audition and rehearsal process, as is tradition, I instead get called in 7 days before the show opens. The last few times I have done this I wrangled props and actors and made sure backstage ran smoothly. This time I'm actually calling the show and I'm freaking out!

I haven't called a show in eight years. After college my self confidence in my stage managing capabilities deflated and I gave up on my dreams of being a professional. 10% of my brain is sure that in the end everything will be fine, but right now the other 90% of my brain keeps thinking about Stern's words of wisdom from The Stage Manager's Handbook: "Everything that goes wrong is your fault".

Gulp! One wrongly called cue can bollocks the whole show. It takes time to learn the flow of a show and tomorrow when I call the show for the first time in rehearsal I will only have seen it twice. I've got till Tuesday at 11:00 pm to get it down cold. Please pray for me!!

P.S. - Extra theatre geek bonus points if you understand why the title of this entry is funny.

I think Minnie Mouse would probably make an excellent shopping buddy

I've mentioned before that I'm a Disney nut. In addition to the Winnie the Pooh characters I have always held a fondness in my heart for Minnie Mouse. Perhaps it is because from an early age I have always been the tomboy with a group of guy friends, so I can appreciate a girl who runs with the boys, or perhaps it is my fondness for red backgrounds with white polka dots. Who knows? I do know that from the age of 5 to probably about 12 I always had the same white sweatshirt from Walt Disney World that had Minnie Mouse on it. I think I wore through 4 or 5 of them before I could no longer find one in my size. I have searched high and low, but I can't find an image of this sweatshirt on the Internet anywhere and due to the fact that I think I look like a troll in all childhood pictures over the age of 4 you will just have to take my word for it that this sweatshirt was awesome!

For a few years now I have been on the lookout for a replacement shirt, but unfortunately I am picky (some may say crazy). I have Minnie Mouse criteria. She has to be wearing the red, white polka dotted dress of my childhood. Not the vintage blue skirt, or just a red skirt, and surely not the pink, white polka dotted dress from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. An added challenge is that until further notice this shirt has to be plus sized.

I may not have found my dream shirt yet, but until I do I can make due with looking at these each day:

Photo from Amazon.com


Photo from Amazon.com

Every time I look down at them they make me smile. Even when I take my checkbook out to balance it!

In addition to my divine bag and wallet I've recently rediscovered other Minnie Mouse favorites. While fooling around on Itunes one day I found this:

Photo from Amazon.com

This was one of my favorite TV specials!!! In fact it is the first time I remember truly enjoying Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart". Our VHS copy bit the dust long ago, but fortunately Youtube was created and there are other nostalgia hounds like me out there!




This got me thinking about another Minnie favorite

Photo from Amazon.com

I hadn't thought about this album for years, but boy did my friends and I listen to it a lot. Interesting anthropological note though; this album came out in 1990, when I was 10. My friends and I still loved it because back then , at ten, you were still a kid. You weren't as worried about being trendy. Christa's voice doesn't hold up as well as it did in my memory, but the songs are still catchy. I've added it to my ipod because I know my students will love it. Some of the ballads are perfect for rest time :0).

Minnie was pro- girl power waayyy before the Spice Girls!

Fire

Lately I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping and because of this my eyes feel like they're on fire. This got me thinking about the wildfires they are having out west ...
which got me thinking about songs that have the word fire in them.

Here are the first 3 that popped into my head, pretty much simultaneously:










What others am I missing?

No Money to Travel - Reading Journeys Part 1

So once again I find myself totally broke. As much as I would love to head out on a real summer voyage, I've decided instead that all of my journeys this season will have to be via book.

I begin my journey with a jaunt to India ala Miss Timmins' School for Girls by Nayana Currimbhoy and a trip to London thanks to Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma... If only I could get the stamps on my passport to commemorate these trips!

Miss. Timmins’ School for Girls, by Nayana Currimbhoy, was the perfect read for the start of a summer when I myself cannot travel. This book takes its readers on a journey back in time to India, to a British missionary’s run boarding school for girls; the year, 1974, the season, monsoon. It is here on her way to Miss Timmins’ that we meet one of our narrators, Charulata Apte. Charu is leaving home for the first time to teach English literature. She has led a very sheltered family-centric life up until this point. The reasons for this sheltering are explained as the story goes on. Firstly her family was forced to flee Bombay for the coast in order to escape scandal, and secondly Charu has a blot that covers part of her face. What begins as Charu’s coming of age tale as she breaks out of her shell and once befriended by the campus wild woman Moira Prince, begins a dance with the forbidden, eventually becomes an Agatha Christiesque whodunit, as one night Moira is pushed to her death off of a cliff of the nearby tablelands. The suspects are many, and it is through the eyes of Charu and one of her students, Nandita, that we piece together the events of that evening.

Ms. Currimbhoy has a wonderful way with words. Her passages were both highly descriptive and beautifully worded. She made India come alive for me as she wove foods, scents, texture, and history into her story, yet I feel that for all of this beauty, elements of the plot were choppy. Though I enjoyed the book, I found the pacing rather uneven. The story would come to fits and starts, rolling slowly uphill to suddenly lose control and veer left as it crested the hill. I suggest that any readers who find themselves frustrated, and have trouble with the pacing, continue stick with the story, for in the end it is all worth it. I also hope that next time around Ms. Currimbhoy stick to a simpler plot line so her soaring prose can have a true chance to shine.

Miss Timmins' may have taken me back in time, but Forbidden rocked my world and threw it off of its axis. While Miss Timmins' came into my life through NetGalley.com, I dove into Forbidden on a total whim (sans description) thanks to Simon and Schuester's E-Galley program. A note before you continue reading: Forbidden is not for the faint of heart!

Forbidden tells the story of the Whitley family through the eyes and alternating voices of Lochan, an almost 18 year old boy suffering from crippling social anxiety disorder, and that of his 16 year old sister Maya. Anxiety disorder is the least of Lochan and Maya's problems, for they have been handed a truly (to borrow a word from the U.K.) SHITE hand in life.

The reader quickly learns that Lochan and Maya's father abandoned the family years ago and their mother is an alcoholic who is happy to believe that she can still party like she is childless and in her early 20s. The care and keeping of the house and their three younger siblings (Kit, Tiffin, and Willa) falls solely on their shoulders. I can barely take care of myself now, so I sure as hell can't picture caring for a family at almost 18 and 16. Lochan and Maya's lives are anything but normal, but they try to soldier on.

It is here at Chapter 2 that I was suddenly struck with the awful feeling that I knew exactly where this story was heading ... all that was missing was arsenic coated powdered donuts and a psycho grandmother. Forbidden wasn't messing around and it wasn't going to hold back any punches. We were truly heading into forbidden territory! To be completely honest I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue on once I glimpsed where the train was headed. Incest isn't my cup of tea, but Suzuma's hypnotic writing kept calling to me.

Her talent is so strong and her characters were so vividly written that I couldn't look away because Lochan and Maya are that gut wrenching of characters. I couldn't look away even as the train ride came to a crashing end ... an end I didn't see coming, and an end which (when I realized what was about to happen) caused me to cry out "no, anything but that ... haven't they already been through enough!?!?". Suzuma and her heart breaking creations cause her readers to question their beliefs. Even though everything is so, so, so absolutely wrong you find yourself rooting for Lochan and Maya, even as you realize how so, so, so absolutely wrong their situation is. Romeo and Juliet has nothing on these two, and as with Romeo and Juliet you will need tissues!

Reading Forbidden shook me so much that even though it was 11:30 on a weeknight when I finished, I had to call my best friend to tell him all about the story. I knew that there was no way that I would sleep that night if I didn't try to process through what I had read. As I said to my friend once I was finally calm, "Forbidden was one hell of a book and I will read ANYTHING that Tabitha Suzuma writes ... even if it's the back of a cereal box ... she's that good!".

What a Mother Hen Feels Like ....

Today was my preschool class' closing ceremony and I'm sure I now know what a mother hen feels like when her chicks head out of the coop. I am both so totally proud of them and yet so sad because I'll miss them so much! It feels like it was just September and they were so little, but now they are all so grown up. They're totally ready to rock Kindergarten :)

I've also cultivated a theory while rehearsing the closing program this week; Wanna hear it? I'm convinced that Raffi is the children's performer equivalent of Barry Manilow. You know how you always get Barry Manilow songs stuck in your head? Well Raffi is the same way. I've had this stuck in my head for fourteen days straight, and well "This song drives me bananas"!



Though this one I still love!



If Raffi is the children's performer equivalent of Barry Manilow then Laurie Berkner is totally the children's performer equivalent of Carole King!!

Little hugs bring BIG germs

One of the greatest parts of working in the field of early childhood education is the hugs. Each day I am in the classroom I get a minimum of 5 hugs. It is nice to be loved, but these little hugs come with big germs attached! Last week most of my class was sniffling and/or coughing. I didn't think to put a stop on the hugs because I figured everyone was just suffering from allergies and they all looked so miserable they needed the extra hugs they were asking for. BIG MISTAKE! I have been infected by the pre-k plague and I find myself acting like a sick four year old. I am sniffly, coughing, and whining for all it is worth. There hasn't been enough Nyquil or Dayquil to make me behave like the adult I truly am. So in one final pathetic act I beg my inner psyche to not send me to school tomorrow!

Fun, Fun, Fun

Tomorrow after I exit the office I am heading down to Atlantic City with a friend. Borgata here I come! Now sadly, I am far too practical and poor to be an effective gambler (and my friend is the same way), but the Borgata holds certain charms:

1. The shower - Seriously the best shower I have ever had the fortune of meeting. I am only going for a night, but I may shower three times during my stay.

2. The ice tea at Wolfgang Puck's American Grille Tavern - It is crisp and fruity. Hopefully this time I will figure out what the exact blend is.

3. The Go Fishing slot machine - I'm a penny slot girl and I discovered this machine while on a trip last year. The cartoon fishies and I were muy simpatico for a time. Hopefully we won't feel awkward when we meet again.

4. Fluffy pillows - nuff said.

5. Endless bacon and orange juice at the Breakfast Buffet - Have you seen how much juice costs now? They serve it in 32 oz cups ... I fully plan to drink my weight in juice on Friday.

6. Ben and Jerry's Scoop Shop - To either celebrate our wins or to drown our sorrows

7. The glass sculptures that are everywhere - They fascinate me.

See?

and finally, 8. The proximity of the Lush store at the Casino Pier Shopping Center - I'm in need of more Rehab shampoo and some Flying Fox shower gel!!

Once I return home my brain is going to go into full summer mode. I have been remiss in my planting so I need to visit home depot for soil so my tomato plants and lone surviving zucchini seedling can get their growth on. I also need to pick up and pot some basil, cilantro, romaine lettuce, and cucumbers. A moment of silence now for the lost seedlings who did not survive the scourge of my fluffy, blue eyed plant killer.

Next up I must search out an Intex 12' X 36' pool to replace the one that didn't make it through a full floating season last year and some coconut scented sunblock.

Happy floating days are here again!

Combine Two Loves

In addition to the genres I have already rambled about I have to tell you that I love cookbooks. This is firstly because I love to cook and bake, but secondly I find cookbooks fascinating. It has rightly been said that books unlock the doors to imagination. I find that well executed cookbooks unlock not only our sense of imagination, but all of our other senses as well. I can spend hours pouring over cookbooks dreaming up special meals.

Recently I joined netGalley, and the first book I read for this program was Food from Many Greek Kitchens by Tessa Kiros, which is being released June 14th by Andrews McMeel Publishing. I love Mediterranean food and have long been on the lookout for a good Greek cookbook. It seemed like kismet when I saw this title listed in the available galleys and I have to say Tessa Kiros does not disappoint.

Food from Many Greek Kitchens is a veritable feast for the senses. Not only does every recipe sound both wonderful and delicious (even the ones with octopus, and it takes a lot to make me want to eat octopus), but the book itself is gorgeous. The pictures spaced throughout the book are breathtaking. They truly make Greece come alive for the reader. I honestly cannot decide which recipe I want to make first. I need to make a grocery list so my pantry and fridge can be stocked and ready for many possibilities! I have already put this book on my Amazon "Need Now" list because I cannot imagine not owning a hard copy. I may never get to actually see Greece in person, but I am very sure that in a short amount of time spent with this cookbook I will begin to feel like I have been there. Each recipe is like taking a trip.

Requiem for an Iced Caramel Latte and a Dryer

Today is one of those days.

I am not a coffee drinker by nature. Tea is more my thing (some may say passion or vice). Today though, thanks to a crappy night's sleep and the wonderful Teacher Appreciation gift of a Dunkin Donuts EGC that was burning a burning a hole in my pocket, I was in need of a latte. Thanks to the overabundance of DD in Monmouth County I pass not one, but two on my way to work. A quick spin through the drive through and a large iced caramel latte was mine.

Then tragedy struck...

Before I could take one sip, the cup slipped out of my hand and the entire latte spilled all over the floor of my car. It created an icy, caramel scented lake. Alas poor latte, we could have been great together!

Sigh ... then I got a call that my dryer had died. Now I really wished I had coffee!

Thank the Lord...

It's Friday!

The end of vacation was like being shot out of a cannon.This week has been a crazy jumble of juggling working at school and working in the office. It wasn't my most successful multi-tasking adventure. Hopefully life will get back to normal next week!

Reading to the beat of the clock

My Easter vacation officially ends in 59 minutes ... at least that is when I need to be asleep if I want to get 8 hours of sleep before the alarm clock tolls ... hahahaha, as if. Right now I am reading (The Diva Paints the Town, a Domestic Diva mystery by Krista Davis, thanks for asking) to the beat of the secondhand of my new Ikea wall clock. I miss my students, but I am dreading getting up at 5 am and not getting home until 6 pm. I bid adieu to my lovely break in which I:

Spent far too much money shopping.
Had two delightful meals out with friends during which I laughed so hard I cried.
Spent some quality time getting to know a friend's baby.
Got in touch with my inner Swede at Ikea.
Wandered around Midtown.
Took in a delightful show.
Got to watch a video online of my cousin guarding Cam Newton at the NFL draft.
Sat in the sun ... and ok, got my first burn of the season. I am now paying the price because I am peeling.
Read 10 or so books.
Listened to music.
Fell in love with In Plain Sight. I'm 18 episodes in and have only stopped watching because I got kicked off of the Wii.
and finally, did a ton of laundry.

Wish I could have another week, but I'll be a big girl!

Love at First Sight

Net Galley where have you been all of my life? I think this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Summer?

Over the last few days the weather has finally perked up here at the Shore. A few days ago I ventured out to sit in the sun, but on the advice of my mother I skipped the sunblock. Lesson learned: Mommy doesn't always know best... or at least she doesn't when she is a 6o+ year old beach bum who is phobic about sunblock usage. I now look like a weirdly striped lobster, because of course I had my head down reading the whole time.

Radioactive coloring aside, the time in the sun and pretty new sundresses like these,

and the devouring of e-galley copies of Invincible Summer by Hannah Moskowitz and Sixteenth Summer by Michelle Dalton, (both excellent new YA "coming of age at the beach" stories that you should check out), have all left me dreaming of an old fashioned fun summer where anything is possible.

I forgot two things though; 1. I'm supposed to be an adult, so bittersweet summer experiences aren't quite the same as they were when you were 16, and 2. I'm a Jersey Shore local.

No. It's not at all like what you see on TV. The Shore crew immortalized on MTV are what we like to call Bennies. They are the bane of the local's existence and the cause of much resentment. Though Bennies bring a certain boon to the local economy they also bring increased traffic, heavy New Yawk and North Joisey accents, and a sense of entitlement. Find me a Jersey Shore native who openly embraces all Bennies and I will eat my most favorite hat.

Fortunately for us poor locals, bennygohome.com was born. Check them out. They are both cathartic and awesome.

So though on one hand I am ready for summer, I realize what I am truly ready for is a summer that exists only in my dreams. Now if you'll excuse me I guess I'll go sniff some Coppertone and listen to some Jimmy Buffett in order to gather my strength for what will really be coming.

New York, New York

There are three things I have always wished I could do:

1. Sing really well
2. Dance
3. Surf

We'll talk about #3 at a later point.

#1 and #2 are born from my deep, deep, some may say genetically induced, love of musicals. Nothing makes me happier than a musical, and unfortunately lately, I don't get to see as many of them as I would like. I'm a Broadway baby who can't really afford Broadway or round trip NJ Transit tickets anymore. Yet, the time comes when one has to say enough is enough, and just go for it.

Last night, credit card balance be damned, my mom and I headed into the city to see How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. This is a show I grew up listening to, and though Robert Morse will always be J. Pierpont Finch in my heart, how could I say no to seeing Daniel Radcliffe try the role on for size?

It was a fun girl's day. By 10:30 when we got back through the Lincoln Tunnel, my credit card was in flames, but it was all worth it. I'm a Midtown girl, have been from the age of 3. 42nd to 50th Streets from 6th to 9th is the one place where I never, ever get lost. After some shopping we headed to 44th street to go to an old favorite St. Andrew's pub. It turns out St. Andrew's old location is now an Irish pub called the Long Room. Still a good time, even if the hot guys in kilts are now two blocks up on 46th street!

Good food, icy cold cider, and brand new sundresses happy vibes were the perfect appetizers for the fluffy musical theatre warm fuzzies that hit as soon as I stepped into the theater. The bright lights, colorful costumes, and catchy songs were the perfect escape from the grayness of every day life. Every body who is feeling blue should immediately go see a musical.

... and you know what, Daniel Radcliffe was pretty darn awesome. He danced his butt off and kept up with the male chorus members who have probably been training for years. He voice was pleasant and he brought the right amount of charm to the part. If I had the chance I would have told him all this, but the threat of being trampled by other autograph seekers was all to real.

P.S. John Larroquette was hysterical, and the guy who played Bud Frump was absolutely spectacular!